What Would You Risk In Order to Find Love?

"I will give them a heart to know me, that I am the LORD. They will be my people, and I will be their God, for they will return to me with all their heart." ~Jeremiah 24:7 NIV

On a warm Fall afternoon, the solace of the coast beckoned my spirit. My car instinctively headed north, winding its way up towards the coastline of NH. I strolled along the shoreline; my eyes scanning the thousands of rocks that stretched before me...searching for a heart rock.

Lounging on the rocky shores of Rye Beach (a place of refuge during the storms of life), I shielded my eyes from the glare of the mid-day sun. The sunlight danced on the water; diamond dust sprinkled the waters creating a magical display. The tide gently swept across the shore, caressing the changing and shifting sands - an intimate gesture that seemed to capture the simplest and purest form of love. After years of disappointments, my heart seemed closed to the idea of love.

A single question occupied my mind, "What would you risk to find love...to abandon your heart into the awaiting arms of love?" How does one open one's heart to love again? Pondering the thought, I noticed a heart rock submerged in the sand. Leaning forward, my arm fell slightly short of its grasp. A wave crested and washed over the shore sending me stumbling backwards nearly escaping a soggy mishap. Would I venture into the tumultuous waters to risk capturing this latest discovery for my collection? Was it worth the risk? Would it satisfy me if I discovered upon closer inspection that it wasn't the 'one' that I expected, hoped for or desired? What then? Would I throw it back into the waters -- defeated and determined to abandon all hope of ever finding another one?

God's gentle whisper spoke to my reticent heart..."You will never find love standing at the shores of life, afraid to risk getting wet."

RISK. Just the thought of this word caused a spasm in my stomach; fear gripped me. Would I risk heartache again? Would I risk the pain of opening up to love, only to be hurt by life's disappointments, altered plans and unrequited love?

Opening my heart again would surely cause pain, wouldn't it? On the other hand, would I risk missing this opportunity before me...only to add this moment to the long list of 'lost opportunities'?

Before I could finish the thought, my body lunged towards the rock. Emerging from the depths of the sea, my arm (now soaked) held tight this sacred find. A heart rock, slightly imperfect (not nearly the kind I anticipated or hoped for when I first set eyes on it) lay heavy in my palm. At that moment, the tide swept up and over my sneakers soaking them through to my socks.

Sometimes in life, you have to take the risk. The first steps (usually the most difficult) sometimes result in getting a little wet, a little bruised, and a little heartbroken. Other times, you're totally submerged in a swirling sea of joy bursting from this new experience of an awakening heart.

As I continued my walk, I realized that one simple action (a risk) opened a small window of my heart. It was just enough to desire more risk...to continue to seek love whatever the cost. Disappointment, pain, heartache and loss cannot be avoided in life. But, always there is greater love...a deeper love...a more pure form of love to be found. And so...as the day's journey neared it's close, there amidst the rocky shores of life, I found an even greater love -
the love of myself (with all my imperfections), the love of life, and the love of God.

Would I seek God will all my heart? Would I allow God's love to reawaken my heart?

Love is patient, love is kind, love can be found...but you must be willing to take the 'risk' in order to discover it.

~ Writings from the Heart-Rock Collective

Answered Prayers

O Lord, the God who saves me, day and night I cry out before you. May my prayer come before you, turn your ear to my cry. Psalm 88:1-2

How often have you thought, "Does God really hear me when I pray? Does He truly care about my deepest needs and desires?". The bible instructs us to 'pray without ceasing' — 1 Thessalonians 5:17.; to 'ask, seek and knock' Matthew 7:7-8, but how do we handle the silence, the continued longing and the closed doors?

A friend boldly stated that "God wasn't helping her: that He hadn't done anything for her." Can that really be true? He's never offered help?

So many times, our prayers to God rise up with all sincerity and humility, yet underneath we often have expectations on how we want the prayers to be answered. We offer up a 'spec' sheet with our prayer - indicating the timing and delivery method.

When silence resounds, we question...we doubt...we stomp our feet - kicking and screaming like a two year in the midst of a full-blown temper tantrum.

I've often prayed for 'answers' to questions in my life - struggles with emotional pain, physical/health challenges and difficult relationships with friends and family. Some of these have been answered, over time; others still remain unanswered.

Earlier this summer, I found myself wrenched with deep emotional pain over a long-standing struggle. I questioned my faith in God - doubting His love for me. In my own efforts to get God's attention (demanding an immediate response), I found myself deeper embedded in the pain. Broken and weary from the fight, I cried out to God - begging for an answer.

The next day, my cell phone indicated an awaiting message. A Christian friend had left a message (a daily devotional reading) on my machine that she felt moved by the Spirit to read. This simple, yet powerful, act offered me a renewed sense of hope and trust in God. Not the resolution to my problem, but the answer I needed in that moment. God's response clearly demonstrated His Love for me; He met my deepest need via a distant 'messenger'.

Here's the message that she left:

I need only to look and see that all things happen in their own time. The resolution of each problem has it's own timetable. No amount of wishing, wringing of hands or raging will effect a change.

"Acceptance is the simple act of going through what is presently facing me, be it pain, anger, despair, hopelessness or their opposites. When life as it really is becomes a fact that I accept as naturally as I breathe, events lose their
power to throw me off balance or disturb the basic rhythm of my life."
~ From the book For Today (a daily devotional)

(Side note: My friend lives out-of-state; we hadn't spoken or seen each other in months. Our relationship could best be described as 'casual acquaintances' - suffice to say, she had no knowledge of my struggles at that point in my life).

Nothing on Earth Will Satisfy Me

Walking in the woods today, I felt as I have so many times on my solitary walks - a sense of longing and hunger for God. Thoughts swirled in mind...silence is what I truly desired.

So much of life is wasted on thoughts that deplete, defeat and leave one feeling empty and hungry for something more substantial, life giving and satisfying.

Then Jesus declared, "I am the bread of life. He who comes to me will never go hungry, and he who believes in me will never be thirsty. ~John 6:35 NIV

Nothing in this world (be it a person, place or thing) can fill that space within that craves love - that hungers for peace and contentment. It's a place that only God's love can fill, to truly satisfy. His love is overflowing, abundant and poured out, if we will only receive it. But...sometimes the heart (the will) is unable to receive this love. The walls of bitterness and resentment hedge us in; at other times, our heart have turned to stone - full of fear, broken-hearted over life - unable to feel, to breathe, to open to the joy and pain of life.

I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit in you; I will remove from you your heart of stone and give you a heart of flesh. ~ Ezekiel 36:26-27 (NIV)

When I read this scripture, 'heart' rocks came to mind which remind me (tangible evidence for me) that God's love is available, everpresent and patiently awaiting my invitation to receive it. When I look for it (in people, places, and things) I cannot find it. When I let go and let God bring me what I need (in His time), I am filled to overflowing.

To seek God first. To surrender your heart. To be content only in Him.

I prayed that I might find a heart rock that would resemble the growing and expanding heart of Christ within me.

I found a large rock resembling a heart, though it wasn't quite perfect. It didn't express the perfect love of Christ that I longed for. I continued on my walk - determined to not settle for less than perfection.

Just as I released a prayer from my heart...I looked down at the trail before me. A perfect heart-shaped rock lay patiently in the earth, awaiting my notice. It was three dimensional - expansive and perfectly shaped on both sides. Another rock for my growing collection.

Christ's love is perfect. Why do I seek love from other sources which do not fill me? They only drain me of my hope and dreams. I'm left still longing - hungry and demanding to be satiated.

God can fill that longing, but first, I must I surrender and admit my weakness and brokeness. I surrender into God's powerful loving hands, my life and will to mold and shape as He so desires for his purposes.

The transformation of heart begins...

© 2007 Kimberly Nyce ~ Writings from the Heart Rock Collective

Heartrock (pictured above) discovered while meditating by a brook behind the Wilson House in East Dorset, VT. 1993

The Delicate Balance

There is a time for hanging on,
And a time for letting go
It’s a delicate balance as we cycle through life.

Frozen in time, we cling precariously
To the safe security of all that we know.
Challenges arise, as the winter wind’s harsh call
Threatens to shake us from our bough.

We cling more tightly, fearing we may plunge
Into the shadowy unexplored depths within.

And Nature cycles round again…
The warm gentle breath of spring
Melts the frozen places of our hearts.

Allowing space for our souls to sing,
We dare to dream of a brand new start.

We begin to trust this divine plan.
Our hands begin to open their tight grasp;
Our spirit softly sings…
It’s time. It's time…Let Go!

Tears sliding gently down,
Grieving the past as we let go,
We shed our icy coats of fear
And merge completely into life’s eternal flow.

We have a place in this life,
Each contributing our best to the greater whole.

It’s a delicate balance…these cycles of life,
Between hanging on and letting go.

© 1997 Photograph taken at Spot Pond in Arlington, MA

(Written for my Dad on Father's Day)

Revelation: Shedding the layers

"Why do we hide beneath so many layers of "self"? What's the fear that drives us to wrap ourselves in layer upon layer of protection? What if the world saw beneath the lies, the masks, the false self that we project into the world. Would it be too painful to allow someone so close as to to witness the vulnerable, raw reality of our humanity?


Photograph of birch tree taken at Habitat Education Center and Wildlife Sanctuary, Belmont, MA.