Patiently Waiting

Patience...the answers will come to you in God's time.
Be still and listen between the silence of the night and
the dawning of the new day. The whisper of God's loving
voice calls softly to your listening ear. Be still, my child...
Lay down your heavy burdens...the weight is too much for
you to bear. Let My peace settle upon you like a soft blanket.
Close your eyes and rest in the beauty of my Grace and the surety
of my everlasting arms.

"As a mother comforts her Child, so will I comfort you," declares the Lord. ~ Isaiah 66:13

Photograph taken at Mount Auburn Cemetary, Cambridge, MA

What Would You Risk In Order to Find Love?

"I will give them a heart to know me, that I am the LORD. They will be my people, and I will be their God, for they will return to me with all their heart." ~Jeremiah 24:7 NIV

On a warm Fall afternoon, the solace of the coast beckoned my spirit. My car instinctively headed north, winding its way up towards the coastline of NH. I strolled along the shoreline; my eyes scanning the thousands of rocks that stretched before me...searching for a heart rock.

Lounging on the rocky shores of Rye Beach (a place of refuge during the storms of life), I shielded my eyes from the glare of the mid-day sun. The sunlight danced on the water; diamond dust sprinkled the waters creating a magical display. The tide gently swept across the shore, caressing the changing and shifting sands - an intimate gesture that seemed to capture the simplest and purest form of love. After years of disappointments, my heart seemed closed to the idea of love.

A single question occupied my mind, "What would you risk to find love...to abandon your heart into the awaiting arms of love?" How does one open one's heart to love again? Pondering the thought, I noticed a heart rock submerged in the sand. Leaning forward, my arm fell slightly short of its grasp. A wave crested and washed over the shore sending me stumbling backwards nearly escaping a soggy mishap. Would I venture into the tumultuous waters to risk capturing this latest discovery for my collection? Was it worth the risk? Would it satisfy me if I discovered upon closer inspection that it wasn't the 'one' that I expected, hoped for or desired? What then? Would I throw it back into the waters -- defeated and determined to abandon all hope of ever finding another one?

God's gentle whisper spoke to my reticent heart..."You will never find love standing at the shores of life, afraid to risk getting wet."

RISK. Just the thought of this word caused a spasm in my stomach; fear gripped me. Would I risk heartache again? Would I risk the pain of opening up to love, only to be hurt by life's disappointments, altered plans and unrequited love?

Opening my heart again would surely cause pain, wouldn't it? On the other hand, would I risk missing this opportunity before me...only to add this moment to the long list of 'lost opportunities'?

Before I could finish the thought, my body lunged towards the rock. Emerging from the depths of the sea, my arm (now soaked) held tight this sacred find. A heart rock, slightly imperfect (not nearly the kind I anticipated or hoped for when I first set eyes on it) lay heavy in my palm. At that moment, the tide swept up and over my sneakers soaking them through to my socks.

Sometimes in life, you have to take the risk. The first steps (usually the most difficult) sometimes result in getting a little wet, a little bruised, and a little heartbroken. Other times, you're totally submerged in a swirling sea of joy bursting from this new experience of an awakening heart.

As I continued my walk, I realized that one simple action (a risk) opened a small window of my heart. It was just enough to desire more risk...to continue to seek love whatever the cost. Disappointment, pain, heartache and loss cannot be avoided in life. But, always there is greater love...a deeper love...a more pure form of love to be found. And so...as the day's journey neared it's close, there amidst the rocky shores of life, I found an even greater love -
the love of myself (with all my imperfections), the love of life, and the love of God.

Would I seek God will all my heart? Would I allow God's love to reawaken my heart?

Love is patient, love is kind, love can be found...but you must be willing to take the 'risk' in order to discover it.

~ Writings from the Heart-Rock Collective

Answered Prayers

O Lord, the God who saves me, day and night I cry out before you. May my prayer come before you, turn your ear to my cry. Psalm 88:1-2

How often have you thought, "Does God really hear me when I pray? Does He truly care about my deepest needs and desires?". The bible instructs us to 'pray without ceasing' — 1 Thessalonians 5:17.; to 'ask, seek and knock' Matthew 7:7-8, but how do we handle the silence, the continued longing and the closed doors?

A friend boldly stated that "God wasn't helping her: that He hadn't done anything for her." Can that really be true? He's never offered help?

So many times, our prayers to God rise up with all sincerity and humility, yet underneath we often have expectations on how we want the prayers to be answered. We offer up a 'spec' sheet with our prayer - indicating the timing and delivery method.

When silence resounds, we question...we doubt...we stomp our feet - kicking and screaming like a two year in the midst of a full-blown temper tantrum.

I've often prayed for 'answers' to questions in my life - struggles with emotional pain, physical/health challenges and difficult relationships with friends and family. Some of these have been answered, over time; others still remain unanswered.

Earlier this summer, I found myself wrenched with deep emotional pain over a long-standing struggle. I questioned my faith in God - doubting His love for me. In my own efforts to get God's attention (demanding an immediate response), I found myself deeper embedded in the pain. Broken and weary from the fight, I cried out to God - begging for an answer.

The next day, my cell phone indicated an awaiting message. A Christian friend had left a message (a daily devotional reading) on my machine that she felt moved by the Spirit to read. This simple, yet powerful, act offered me a renewed sense of hope and trust in God. Not the resolution to my problem, but the answer I needed in that moment. God's response clearly demonstrated His Love for me; He met my deepest need via a distant 'messenger'.

Here's the message that she left:

I need only to look and see that all things happen in their own time. The resolution of each problem has it's own timetable. No amount of wishing, wringing of hands or raging will effect a change.

"Acceptance is the simple act of going through what is presently facing me, be it pain, anger, despair, hopelessness or their opposites. When life as it really is becomes a fact that I accept as naturally as I breathe, events lose their
power to throw me off balance or disturb the basic rhythm of my life."
~ From the book For Today (a daily devotional)

(Side note: My friend lives out-of-state; we hadn't spoken or seen each other in months. Our relationship could best be described as 'casual acquaintances' - suffice to say, she had no knowledge of my struggles at that point in my life).