Lean on Him

Why is it so difficult to let go of what I want, what I think I need, what is best for me and to completely and unreservedly surrender to God's will in my life?

Maybe, because I think I know better than God what's best for my life? No...I've disproved that theory too many times to know it's not true.

Why then? Well...it's simply FEAR.

I've spent a good part of my life making my own decisions, determining what's best for me, pursuing relationships, jobs and that next 'thing' that will satisfy that place inside me that longs for relief, comfort, hope, excitement...

Now, I'm asked to surrender 'My' will to God's will. My fears rise up in mutiny at the thought of letting go of the 'reigns' of my life and allowing God's will to guide me. How many times have I told myself, "I can handle it myself or if I only get what I want, then I'll be happy"?

If I'm honest with myself, when I reflect back on 'my decisions' (especially the ones where I didn't consult God) the results usually ended in disaster. I'll admit that I'm predisposed to selfishness. Who doesn't enjoy the rush of Immediate gratification when we get what we 'think' we want? On the flip side, however, when I don't get what I want, I tend to pout, sulk and blame God for his lack of timing, unfairness and any other blame I put on Him.

I don't like to WAIT for His will to play out in my life...especially when it comes to relationships, jobs, friends, creative pursuits, family...basically, any area of my life.

God's will for me isn't always easy to understand or accept at times. It's often frustrating, exasperating, baffling and confusing. Though, to God, His will is perfect for me. My mind doesn't see the whole picture...the intricate plans woven through time that unfold daily. When I look back over my life, it's easier to see the 'big' picture, the view from God's eyes.

What is needed if I want to be at peace with His will and not My will?

When I learn to be open and willing to believe that God's will is always so much better for me than my feeble attempts, then I am more able to let go and trust in Him.

Proverbs 3:5-6
"Trust in the LORD with all your heart,
And lean not on your own understanding.
In all your ways acknowledge Him,
And He will make your paths straight." (NIV)

"Trust GOD from the bottom of your heart;
don't try to figure out everything on your own.
Listen for GOD'S voice in everything you do,
everywhere you go; he's the one who will keep
you on track." (MSG)